A two and half hour long Thums Up ad called….Tashan

When you watch ads like Thums Up or Mountain Dew…you know that this is not possible.. this is exaggeration. But you buy it for those 30 sec….because it ends in 30 sec. You take it casually. If you want to show that type of action in a full length film, you have to create that type of background. Only then viewer will buy it. Otherwise it will be called Tashan!

Only one line was running through my mind while watching the movie…’What the hell is that supposed to mean??’ Those who REALLY want to know about the non existent story can go here

Only 1 point about the action..why was it there?? I will tell you about only a couple of action scenes. I think they will convince you not to waste your money, energy, fuel, electricity and time in watching this movie.

Scene 1: Somewhere in Rajasthan

About 23-25 policemen confront Akshay, Kareena, Anil and Saif who are hiding behind some pillars. Upon entering the camera frame…the police start shooting these people like they are infected with T-Virus. Why?? Why do you want to kill them so badly, Mr Cop?? How about “Hands up!” or “Dont move!”…follow the standard procedures! Now something get into Akshay and he comes out running towards nothing in particular. Policemen must have been mislead by their commander… he must have told them that people die if you shoot 2 ft away from their feet. None of the 25 cops seem to aim correctly at Akshay who is running in front of them, then towards them and finally kick boxing with them! On top of that Anil and Kareena do the same! 3 people kill an entire police battalion. You have seen these kind of scenes before…but you simply cannot buy it in Tashan.

Scene 2: Climax

Same disgusting stuff from scene 1…but one shot tops it all. Anil is using a water jet from a hose to push Kareena off a bridge.. That seems to have created some sort of water canal. Then he remembers ‘Damn it..I have a gun!’ Just as he points the gun at Kareena, Saif finds a motor boat and comes to rescue her through that canal. Just when I started to think ‘Could this get any sillier??’, he does a somersault with it and pushes  Anil off the bridge.

Some irritating things (in the movie..other than the movie itself)-

1) Anil Kapoor trying to speak english. Horrible, pathetic, ridiculous! Not a single line that you can bear!

2) Songs and their great lyrics. ‘Dil Dance mare’?? What is that??? (Why god, why? Why are you doing this??)

I cant believe I am saying this..but Race was much better! If you dont like Kareena..there is nothing in this movie for you.

If you still want to waste your time…see the climax

Also see this post by Avnish on Tashan MTV Tickr

‘Race’ before ‘Raceday’-Movie review

Before todays big raceday in Sepang, I went to see another race in CityPride. But I waited to check out Sunday Times review to write this post. I was shocked to find out that Race had been awarded 3 and 1/2 stars. Times rating is getting more and more ridiculous. I remember Dhol getting 4 stars, another shocker.

Movie- Race

Directors- Abbas-Mustan 

Star Cast- Saif Ali Khan, Katrina Kaif, Akshay Khanna, Bipasha Basu, Anil Kapoor, Sameera Reddy 

Race is a typical Abbas-Mustan flick, only the script is totally confused. Movie has more twists and turns than a spaghetti. People change their sides and loyalties just like that! Most of the characters are childishly boastful. First half is very slow and has only 10% of the total twists, so naturally second half becomes very action packed.

For complete review check out Indiatimes Review

Now some finer details. Most of them are spoilers, so those who intend to see the film, pls read this after you have seen Race. If you have no intention of watching it in near future…go ahead.

The songs are just….too many. Not a single one fits in the flow (Reminds me of ‘Nehle pe dehla’). The lyrics are contributed by the great Sameer. So its pointless to find out what they mean. eg. just look at this song and his lack of imagination-

“Bin Tere Sanam Is Jahan Mein
Beqaraar Hum Dum Da Dum Da Dum
Bin Tere Sanam Is Jahan Mein
Beqraar Hum”

What is Dum Da Dum Da Dum??? Absolutely stupid!

Choreography is very mismatched with the costumes and height of the actor who is doing those steps. This is highlighted in case of Katrina. Only good background score and music by Pritam makes songs bearable.

Action scenes are very childish. The jump scenes are really pathetic. I mean you can actually make out that the hero is hanging from a rope. Not expected from an action film!

Akshay, Saif, Bipasha have done a decent job. Cant expect acting from Katrina, but she is improving. Anil Kapoor and Sameera Reddy appear only after interval. But they have utilised the remaining time very effectively to irritate you to the maximum extent. Sammera Reddy’s dialogues make you bang ur head on the wall. The shady level of dialogues obtain a new negative height with Anil Kapoor. Some of the jokes were good, but some were really obnoxious. He is shown eating a different fruit in every scene. So, by my count, the fruits were- Apple, Banana, Orange, Pomegranate, Sugarcane(??), Coconut, Water-melon, Strawberry, Raspberry, Grapes, walnut, and finally a fruit dish.

Atleast 25% of the movie is irrelevant to the main story. The whole character of Dalip Tahil is unnecessary. The scene just shows how brutal these brothers can get. Johny Lever has a cameo, but he makes sure that you remember him after the movie as well.

Coming back to the story, Saif’s death scene is ok. But again the director duo has tried too hard to make it look very exciting but ends up being unbelievable.(Again, the same old trick of suicide from terrace is used. Interestingly, here also the victim hits the glass first and then the ground, just like Shilpa shetty of Bazigar. But this trick has a special significance in Race)

An interesting observation. In the song ‘Race….’ Saif is dancing in front of a wall. And the background animation on the wall is the one which you see in Windows Media Player when you play an audio file!

Now some “Readers Don’t Digest” moments-

1) A math problem. Akshay Khanna gives 25 million to Anil Kapoor for his help, out of the 100 million received from Saif’s Insurance. So he is left with 75 million. But as it turns out, Saif is not dead after all. Finally, Saif is shown driving away with Akshay’s remainder of cash + 100 million from Akshay’s Insurance. But both Anil and Saif claim that there is still 200 million cash in Saif’s bag and Saif gives additional 100 million to Anil. What happened to the first 25 million?

2) In the final race, Akshay gives Saif a car that has brakes missing. Saif claims that Akshay’s car has a bomb that will be triggered if the speed goes down 100kmph (Remember ‘Speed’!). So neither can stop! Wait a second….you cant stop if you dont have brakes huh. Ever heard of a term called friction? Just turn off the engine and steer the car till it stops man! But instead Saif continues to race in full throttle. You are brave but you are also very stupid!

My rating- **1/2

Go to see it only if you are a die-hard fan of any of the cast, as each one receives a decent amount of screen footage. If you can cope up with useless songs, terrible action scenes and no need of explanation for some very basic questions like why and how, this movie is just made for you!

(PS- I loved this movie. I like such dumb baseless movies with low budget action and stupid characters. My rating mentioned above is for common people, not for people like me. I thought this was a terrific movie and I am definitely going to watch it again.)

FilmyFare

Every year I watch the Academy awards and then decide not to watch our degraded award functions including Filmfare. But I invariably end up watching them. So this year I made no such decision and enjoyed Filmfare on a quiet Sunday evening.

5 years ago at Filmfare, King Khan SRK and Chhote Nawab Saif put up a great show with extreme arrogance toward the film fraternity. I have to admit I enjoyed it thoroughly. Next year, they did quite ok trying lamely to apologise for all the disrespect. For last couple of years, Filmfare was very boring and aimless.

This year, the duo was back with a bang and dominated the whole show. But the old charm seemed to have vanished this time. Some of the jokes were ok. But they seemed totally lost in their aim of insulting everybody. Their dialogues were not ‘Offensive’ enough. Saif was off the mark for most of the time. They were completely disoriented during the presentation of ‘Na-real’ awards. ‘Na-real’ awards to Vidya Balan and Ramesh Sippy were pointless. I liked only the one given to Akshay Kumar.

This year the traditional crown of ‘Show off business’ was forwarded from The Bachchans to the fresh couple- Saif-Kareena. The exhibition of ‘Love’ by Saif and Kareena was ridiculous.

The performances were as usual, totally useless, although they were fewer in number than usual. Himesh did his share of irritating people sincerely. Deepika did her 1st ever live performance. She did quite well.

Most of the awards were predictable. Everybody knows Aamir doesn’t attend award function. But I think he should have been polite enough to let the organizers use a clip from TZP during announcement of nominations. Instead, a note flashed across the scene saying ‘Clip was unavailable from the producer’. I think this was unnecessary.

There is always a talk amongst the celebrities that the nature of award functions should be changed radically. But no organizer is brave enough to do so. I think the reason is their mentality. They cannot think in a broader sense. This is why, barring a few exceptions, we have had some ridiculous entries from India to the Oscars in the past including this years Eklavya. Its not like we dont make good films at all, but the selectors conveniently forget about them for some unknown reasons. Instead of doing this just for the sake of sending an official entry, they should just declare “You people dont understand our great movies (Or rather what we think as great movies) so we dont want to compete at all. We are a class of our own!”